#2 – When There’s Someone Else in Your Money

On this episode, we invite our partners onto the show to talk about how we each do money in our relationships.

Money is not a fixed thing, and our personal relationship to it isn’t fixed as well. Our relationship with money change depending on where we are in life, in our careers, and who we’re partnering with. Tanja is retiring at 38, but once carried thousands in debt. Kara also carried tens of thousands in student loans, but is now a business owner. Life moves fast man!

Tanja and Mark talk about how Mark’s income helped Tanja slay her debt, the ‘white kinght’ role some men play in women’s lives, and how joining their finances helped them achieve new and great heights. (#FIRE)

Kara and T-Bone talk why they keep their money separate, financial anxiety, and being aligned in lifestyle choices even if they keep money separate.

*The Fairer Cents is sponsored by Freshbooks. Head to Freshbooks here to claim your FREE 30-day trial.


10 thoughts on “#2 – When There’s Someone Else in Your Money

  1. Thanks for a great podcast! By listening to you discussing your relationships, I have been able to think about how my partner and I deal with money similarly and differently. It was also fun to hear Mark’s voice since I’ve been following ONL for a while and have already heard Tanja speak.

  2. Oh my goodness, years ago I had a book idea of just lots of stories about how real couples deal with combining finances. It is a fascinating topic with endless possible variations. There is no one best way to do it but I do believe that hearing other couples’ stories can help broaden people’s minds and help couples to look at options that they hadn’t previously considered, or to look at options that they had previously dismissed in a new light. This was the most interesting podcast that I have listened to in a long time.

  3. P.S. I have been married for 13 years and never plan to combine finances with my partner. Of course they are sort of combined in the way that we have an agreement as to who pays which bills and we do own properties and mortgages together, but our paychecks go to our own personal accounts and neither of us has access to each other’s accounts. So that is the very unromantic but successful route that we have taken.

  4. Great episode with fascinating “behind the scenes” feel to it. Made me think you could do more shows about different power dynamics between people (in different roles- parents/ employers/two people doing same job with wage differential etc) and money.
    Made me also ponder my own dynamic with hubby and assumptions about “being provided for”… OH, and thanks for the use of the phrase “feels”…. Now I have one more vocabulary word I understand with my teenager LOL.

  5. I loved the comments on “Financial Jargon” – It happens in all levels of finance, I spent a couple hours with a client selling their business and found myself translating that an “Investment Banker” is really just like a high-end real estate business, except they’re selling a business and not property. The two of us got a great laugh when I explained that investment banking terms are just meant to bring up so much jargon that you just HAVE to hire the investment banker. I told the client I got really good at translating this stuff with entrepreneurs:

    “Dividend Recapitalization” – Oh, you mean a cash out refinance
    “Multiple Expansion” – Oh, so a larger business is worth more than a smaller business because more people will buy it.

    Enjoying the podcast (as a straight white dude leading a diverse team)

  6. When the partner has no debt:
    Feminist 1: “Oh you’ll pay for MY debt?? YES PLEASE!!!”

    When the partner has debt:
    Feminist 2: “YOUR debt is YOURS. That’s NOT my problem”

    Thanks for the lols before I delete your podcast.

    1. Hi Abby! So intrigued by your comment here. It seems like you’re mad that we’re feminists and that we both handled our debt situations wrongly. Are you implying that the feminist thing to do is always to split debt equally in a relationship? Are you saying that feminists are always mean to their partners no matter what the debt situation is? How does feminism tie into debt in your mind? Is there a correct way to be a feminist who is in a relationship? Further, is there a correct way to handle debt in a relationship that you know of and we don’t? SO curious to hear your thoughts!

  7. I find the entire subject of “my school didn’t warn me about student loans” disturbing. The entire loan forgiveness discussion is just nuts. One borrow s money, and one repays the loan. Education is expensive, but can be done reasonably. $54,000 for one year of law school? I’m the first to say that we have too many law schools, but if one is smart enough to get into law school, one is smart enough to understand a student loan. I also think that law schools should require an apprenticeship at a law firm including the accounting department for one year before law schools, if young people knew how difficult it is to earn a living and the hours to practice law they would think again.

    I do like the podcast and I cheer the chipping away of loans

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