#4 – Emotional Labor

On this episode Kara and Tanja dive deep into the concept of “emotional labor,” Kara’s soul ascends her body, and we have a special guest!

This idea that has recently gotten more attention thanks to a kickass piece in Harper’s Bazaar by Gemma Hartley entitled, “Women aren’t nags — we’re just fed up.” Tanja interviews Gemma about emotional labor, talking to a male partner about it, and the generational differences that come up when we talk about emotional labor.

Kara shares how emotional labor has become a hot topic in her life, and how she’s talking about it.

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13 thoughts on “#4 – Emotional Labor

  1. Thank you for another amazing episode! I can relate to much of what the two of you talked about in terms of emotional labor. I read this article a few months ago and it really connects to what you are saying: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

    I also have a quick story to share. A month or so ago, my husband started noticing that I’d forgotten things he’d told me–from what time he’d be home from work to what plans we had on the weekend. I read the article “You Should’ve Asked” and wondered if I’m forgetting things because I carry the mental load. So I shared this with my husband telling him that the article discusses my experience. He is, as Tanja likes to say, very evolved. He’s a feminist. When we discussed the article later that week, we had an argument. It was not fun. In short, it’s going to take time. Though we had this huge argument, he has been making some changes. It’s just a start though. (My husband and I are Gen Xers so our experience jives with that study you cited).

    Finally, I don’t know if this is just me or just listening on Google play, but one segment of the show was repeated. Starting at around 54 minutes in, what was previously discussed was discussed again. Just wanted to let you know in case it wasn’t just me.
    Thanks again!

  2. Great discussion of a really important topic. One thing, though: why are we calling this “emotional” labor? There is nothing emotional about realizing that we need milk and the bills haven’t been paid and the kids need lunch money and the dog needs to go to the vet. That’s mental labor – not emotional.

  3. This podcast episode sent my thoughts straight to my childhood and how my mother would speak to my father about having to do everything at home. And then it made me think about how my relationship with my partner works. It’s a really important conversation, and I hope more guys listen to this! 🙂

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